Everybody wants to do it right? Sack their job off and earn a living having fun. Imagine doubling your salary by simply going to the casino for a few days a week rather than slogging it out for 40 hours a week in the office. Well, keep imagining because it’s pretty much impossible, unless you become a poker pro or a card-counter.
That said, casinos are extremely profitable. The gross gambling yield of UK casinos last year was reported to be 13.6 billion! They can be fairly generous with that cash too. Here’s your ultimate guide on how to get a slice of it.
Be a High-Roller
The guy that’s dropping five-grand a go over on the blackjack table is naturally going to get the special treatment from the casino staff. No-one’s going to notice you over on the penny slots in your jeans and trainers. Make sure you get a slice of special treatment by acting like a baller.
Invest in a sharp-suit, circulate a rumour that you and your friends play for a mid-ranking Premier League club like, say West Brom and watch the casino staff flock to you. Just don’t make the same mistake as the Secret Footballer and lose $130,000 in one-night.
Ever lost a load of money on an online accumulator and then received an email with a special offer on your next bet? Well land-based casinos are no different to their online counterparts. If you spend hours and hours at the blackjack table waving goodbye to your money then you could get some freebies.
Instead of ‘free-spins’ or ‘free-bets’ you could receive actual gifts like unlimited access to the buffet or a George Foreman grill. Saves you buying one from the shop right? Winning!
If all else fails and you’re not making enough money then you’re going to have to turn to questionable ways to make money at the casino. Dip your toe into illegal activity by bribing the roulette table dealer 100 to make sure your 50 bet on black is a winner. To conceal your illicit activity it is beneficial to not draw any attention to yourself, you need to enter the casino looking as though you know exactly what you’re doing. Luckily, there is a brilliant blog that will ensure you are able to blend in, avoid looking foolish and show the correct casino etiquette.
Or you could even become a card counter, don your thinking cap and monitor all 56 cards in the deck when you’re playing blackjack. There are 56 cards in a deck right? Right?
“ 4.15! For a pint!?!? How much? You should wear a mask and stripy top!”
Avoid being that guy and head to your local casino. Some casinos dish out free drinks to punters, undoubtedly to lubricate them enough to spend a little more cash.
Take advantage of this by hanging out over by the penny slots and sinking as many free drinks as you can. Even if you have 1,000 goes on the penny slots it’ll still be a lot cheaper than a night down your local pub!
Flights to Las Vegas are expensive. Factor in accommodation and spending money too and the trip becomes incredibly expensive. One nice easy way to save money is by booking your accommodation at a casino.
If you use travel booking sites such as Orbitz and Expedia you can get a cheap stay at an illustrious casino, and the chances are it’ll be hell of a lot nicer than a Motel. Just make sure you don’t spend the money you save at the casino, that’s what they’re expecting you to do!
Of course, it’s very hard, nay it’s nigh on impossible to come away from the casino every day with a profit. Everything previously mentioned is done so with tongue-in-cheek and should not be taken seriously.